Knee update

I'm out. My first half marathon is not happening. I was diagnosed with "Runner's Knee" compounded by a knee cap this is off center. I have been in physical therapy for two weeks and my right knee still has persistent pain. For now I am building my butt and thigh muscles to give the knee more support. I'm also going to be wearing a brace (for everyday use until persistent pain stops and then just for exercise). No running or hardcore knee use. My new goal is the Columbus half this fall. I may not have squeeked the race in before 4-0, but it's the challenge that matters. Am I disappointed? Sure. But in the grand scheme of things this is a molehill not a mountain.

Crap

I went for my yearly physical today and during the course of explaining what had been happening health wise, my doctor said two words I kind of dread..."peri-menopause". Shit. Really? So soon? It's possible to start this up to around 10 years before hard core menopause hits, but still hearing this at 39 is just not cool. It just means my hormones are starting to flux a bit and that gaining weight (check!) will be a lot easier (%#^+*%!!). Oh yeah, hot flashes might become more frequent. Awesome, eh?

Please don't let it be over before it's even begun

I'm almost 40. I have a few more months of my thirties left, but for all intensive purpose this decade is pretty much behind me. For the most part I feel ok with that. Except for one thing. One of my goals was to run a half marathon before I turned 40. Last fall I almost made the Columbus half, but at 8 miles I didn't feel like I was quite ready. So, with the nudge of my BFF Jen, I signed up for the Vancouver (yes, the Canadian one)half marathon in May. I undertook this endeavor having lost a good chunk of my progress from the fall and carrying several extra pounds thanks to a bit of stress and the holidays. All was going great and I was increasing my mileage on a consistent basis....until. Until last week when I noticed a dull ache in both knees after an outdoor run. I didn't think much of it and ran a 3 miler two days later. I could tell immediately following that run that there was something not quite right. So I took 5 days off and tried another 3 miler the next week. Since then the dull ache has turned in to a pain. It's right above both knee caps and I suspect it might be tendonistis (thank you Dr. Internet). Tomorrow I head to a real doctor to get it checked out. Hardcore training is due to start this Tuesday and I reeeeally hope it's not over before it's even begun.

An accomplishment

Hurray for me! That's right, I'm giving myself a big 'ol pat on the back. It's been almost a week since I ran the Litchfield Hills Road Race. It was held the day before my 39th (gulp) birthday. In years past the race has been brutal, especially when it's 90 and sunny. My awesome sister-in-law was right next to me every step of the 7.2 miles. For two days leading up to the event my stomach was not feeling so kind and I was clearly nervous. The day of the race my anxiety amped up and I was downright dreading it. For sure I was not giving myself enough credit, but I had also not run the race since my twenties (oh so long ago) and have had two kids and several pounds added to my life since then. So yes, I was apprehensive. Turns out it was all for nothing. The weather was perfect, maybe 73 and cloudy, and the 7 miles flew right by. With the exception of a tweak in my knee and dreaded Gallows Lane, I felt really good and actually finished only two minutes over what I had aimed for. I haven't had much to boast about physically over the past three years and so finishing this race, and finishing it strong, makes me really proud. Yeah me!

LHRR

WA and I are headed back to CT this weekend for a quick visit. The impetus for the trip is the Litchfield Hills Road Race. It's a 7 miler in my hometown. I grew up watching it every summer. It is always on the second Sunday of June, coincidentally my birthday is that same week and sometimes falls on Road Race weekend. It's an all around good time with family and friends. Now, back to the race. 7 miles. I've run it twice before; both times in my twenties. This time I will squeak it in just shy of my 39th bday. I am nowhere near ready for 7 miles, but have run 4 miles. I figure that if I need to walk a mile or two, then so be it. My goal is the finish line.

Focusing on me

Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the fact that I'm getting some bites on the job front, maybe it's because neither of my kids have been hospitalized in the past month or maybe I'm just settling in...but I'm feeling better. I am just now realizing the damage the past year and a half has done. It has been an extremely difficult time which has included a cancer diagnosis and surgery for my mother-in-law, the birth of my second child, the death of my mother, the resulting train wreck that has been my father, a move to a new state and a string of illness unprecedented in our household. It's just been non-stop and I've been comfort-food eating my way through every step. Not good. Especially for someone who tends to keep the pounds on once they settle in. Over the past month or two, as I emerge from what only can be described as depression, I realize that I need to cut myself some slack...emotionally and physically. What I also realize is that I can't continue to neglect my well being. That's a tough thing to do when you feel like shit all the time, but I'm ready. It's time to start focusing on a healthier all around me. So, one thing I'm doing is running the 5K Race for the Cure in May in memory of my Mom and Grandma (who both battled breast cancer...yes, that genetic lottery definitely freaks me out). I figure what a better way to honor their memory than by doing something good for ME, their daughter and grand-daughter! I know my mom is looking down as I write this and smiling. She's where I learned to give so much to the people I love, but she is also where I learned that you have to be good to yourself too. I'm starting to realize, as life spreads me thinner and thinner, that the later is just as important. It feels fantastic to give more to myself...more breaks, more time alone, more time with my children, more time to health. More time nourishing me.