A wish for my future 16-17 year olds

I was driving down the street, in our very suburban neighborhood, and I saw two high school kids (my guess...juniors) standing in the doorway of her house (she was on the inside). Since I was driving slow I was able to take them in. What I saw was that look of complete immersion. Remember? That first love, where the person you are with is just THE best and nothing could be more thrilling than being in their presence? It got me to thinking about what I want for my own children. I want them to have that type of first love. With someone decent, respectful and kind. Someone they look back on, when they are 40 and blogging while their kids are upstairs sleeping, and smile. I hear so many horror stories about adolescent love and I hope that with all the craziness that comes along with growing up these days, they get that one special guy or girl who makes their teen years all worth it.

Hiring the pregnant lady

Recently Marissa Mayer, a tech star and big wig at Google, jumped ship and became the CEO of Yahoo. For us nerds this was a sort of surprising move since Yahoo has been burning through top leadership recently. I could have read the story and done a simple, "hmm, good for her" and monitored the situation over the next few months with some level of interest. It wasn't until I read that she was also pregnant that it got reeeeeally interesting. Not only does it bring up the cliched question "can women have it all?" (um no, they can not) but it also got feminists all fired up (mostly in a good way). All the implications aside, what I really connected to was the fact that the Yahoo board hired her knowing she was pregnant. Good for them! I really respect their ability to think long term and not let shortsightedness take over (as it often does). I think she will be a great leader for that company that desperately needs one. I truly hope it works out for her, both professionally and personally. Having gone through a very similar (though not nearly as high-level!) situation a few years ago, I can attest to the fact that a positive, fruitful and long term relationship can come of this initial leap of faith. I will be following the story and silently cheering Marissa on each step of the way.

Too many women

Today I made an appointment at the high risk clinic at the OSU James Cancer Center Breast Health unit. I am considered high risk for a number of reasons and am really happy to be in a city where they have a first rate cancer care. Breast cancer is always on my mind, so getting in to a program with such excellent preventive care is kind of a relief. The thing that was unsettling though was the fact that my appointment is over 6 months away. That got me thinking how many other women, just like me, are in those appointment slots from now till then...

History does not repeat itself

My Dad had a rule. I couldn't get my ears pierced until I was 12. Why 12 you may ask? I have no clue, but I suspect un-bejeweled ears made him feel like his maturing "baby" was still his baby. Needless to say the day after I turned 12 my Mom and I headed to the mall and pierced those suckers. Over the years I went on to add a total of 9 holes across two ears. Take that Dad!:).

The only thing I knew as it related to my own daughter was that I did not want to do it to her as an infant. For some reason that bugs me. But as she grew older and got "more girly" it began to creep in to the picture. The deal was pretty much sealed when our three neighbor friends got theirs pierced several months ago. IA was all about it. She even asked if she could get hers done. Why not, I thought. It looks super cute on her friends. So two weekends ago we went to a place called "Sweet and Sassy" (no kidding) and got them done. Sweet and Sassy is a "salon" for pre-teens. The place is unreal. Totally decked out in pink and glitz. But they did a fantastic job. And now my baby has bejeweled ears. Take that Dad!:)

Fists of fury

Holy cow.

We are just coming out of a very interesting and very challenging experience with WA. He was diagnosed, this spring, with anxiety disorder/ADHD. Since these issues were causing interruptions in his life (like the fact that he no longer had any interest in hockey and was having focus issues at school), we started down the medication road. So far it's been a bumpy one. We are on medication number 2. The first helped his anxiety, but not his attention. The second helped the attention, but had an awful side effect. About 3 weeks in to him taking this second med, he start having outburst of anger. I'm not talking about yelling or worse than normal tantrums, I'm talking anger that required restraint. Fists flying, toy throwing, walls bedammed anger. At the begining I didn't really put two and two together and thought he was either more upset than normal or just going through a bad phase. Our doctor never mentioned anger as a side effect and it also wasn't very prevailent in the information I read, so it didn't really click. It wasn't until we had our doctor check-in last week that she confirmed severe anger is a side effect. THANK GOD. I was beginning to wonder how I was going to make it through. This level of fury was totally out of my league. So we weened him off the meds and already he is doing much, much better. I've never seen anything like it and hope this road smooths out for him before he starts first grade in August.

Let them eat cake!

This past weekend IA and I went to Chicago for the baptism of my cousin's son. He is my newest godchild and it was great to be there. We had a bunch of fun, but we also had a bunch of cake. This past weekend we celebrated a joint b-day (my cousin/me) and my godson's baptism. One cake each celebration for a total of 2 in 3 days. To make matters worse, I already had 2 cakes for my own celebration with friends and family in Ohio. So that's a grand total of 4 cakes in 6 days. And yes, today I signed up for Weight Watchers.

Last day of my 30s

As I sit here pondering the milestone I'm about to hit tomorrow I am amazed by how transformative my 30s were. I...

1. Met my husband at a Halloween party

He was dressed as a knight (can you get any more fairytale than that?!?) and I as Medusa. After a fun tequila fueled Saturday night I told him that he could email me on Monday. Well, at 12:01 Monday morning I got an email asking for a date. To this day I'm still pretty convinced that's why I married him. 

2. Bought my first place
A one bedroom condo on Flax Hill Rd. in Norwalk CT. That place was straight out of the late 70s and the previous owner had smoked till every inch smelled like the bottom of an ashtray. With some elbow grease, patience, TLC and a mini kitchen/bath remodel (thanks GAP and GUJ!) we got it looking pretty darn good. I'll always have fond memories of my first place.

3. Married the knight

I don't think I ever really thought I would marry so "late in life". I was 32 when the hubby and I got hitched in my hometown. We contemplated a destination wedding, but in the end my heart won out and we ended up getting married in my hometown. I am forever thankful to the hubby for this concession because both of my grandmothers were able to attend. Grandma F was such a big part of my life (and heart) and I was so happy she could see me walk down the aisle. We had a lovely wedding reception, beyond what I had imagined and it was awesome. Let's not mention the part where my drunk husband (of  six or seven hours at this point) spilled Lemoncello down the front of my gorgeous dress:).

4. Moved to New Jersey

I got a job offer from a startup in New York and could not resist. It was with an exciting company creating a website from the ground up. Exactly what I love to do. So we headed from Norwalk to Hoboken, NJ. 

5. Got pregnant with my first child

There really is nothing like your first pregnancy.

6. Was involved in a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit

Which, not to be dramatic, by the terms of the settlement I am not allowed to talk about.  

7. Was looking for a new job at 7 mos pregnant

And landed at Travelocity. They hired me, and my great big belly, knowing I'd be on maternity leave and a new mother. That took some guts and I still really admire my (then) boss for taking that leap of faith. It all turned out for the best and I had several great years there.

8. Had WA

I am a born birther. For anyone who has ever seen my hips, this is why God made them. Three hours from pitocin to first breath. There is nothing, nothing like having your first child. It completely formed my life. Still one of the greatest things I have ever done.

9. Moved back to CT
By this point my Mom was well in to her terminal breast cancer diagnosis. We decided to leave "city life" behind and move back to CT to be closer to her and my family. Those years are another thing I am eternally grateful for.

10. Got pregnant with my second child
My little girl, IA.

11. Lived through ANOTHER cancer diagnosis
This time my mother-in-law. Kidney cancer. What a horrible feeling knowing that your two mothers both are fighting cancer. Unbelievable. Luckily my M-I-L's surgery went well and to this day she is cancer-free (knock wood!!).

12. Had IA
My M-I-L was not able to be there, having just had her cancer surgery, but my father-in-law came out from Ohio to help with WA and be around for the birth. So on a dreary day in Nov, we were surrounded by my Mom (who had just had chemotherapy that morning), my Dad and my F-I-L. Another stupendous job by my ample hips. 4 hours soup to nuts.

13. Lost my mother
Three weeks after the birth of my daughter I lost my mother. She was in Hospice care and was able to die at home surrounded by her family. I will never forget sitting by her bedside, her body still warm, breastfeeding my three week old. What a surreal feeling. I will miss her everyday for the rest of my life, but I am grateful for the time I had with her (in sickness and in health).

14. Moved to Ohio
Back when the hubby and I were dating I got a t-shirt, as a joke, saying "Friends don't let friends live in Ohio". Well, the joke ended up being on me because about a year after my Mom passed we moved to OH. We are closer to the hubby's family for the first time in our marriage and we honestly could not have landed in a more family friendly place. I have made close friends with my neighbors and all of our kids are friends. Summer nights are filled with packs of kids running back and forth between our houses and last minute group dinners. It's really fantastic.


Even though I came in to this past decade one dress size smaller, more naive, selfish and certainly more fresh face, I can't say there's much I regret. I met some special people and formed friendships that still exist today. I picked up a handsome hubby and had two insanely (and insane:)) cute kids. It's all about the experience (right?) good, bad and ugly. I am certain that future years will bring their share of heart ache and joy; and I hope at the end of them I feel, as I do today, grateful, content and ready to see what's next.