Amen

I grew up Catholic. I don't think there's a time I don't remember being in a pew on Sunday morning. Through college I kept it up, but right around 19-20 I started to get the feeling that the Catholic church was just not for me. That doesn't mean that I didn't (and don't) appreciate all the things I feel like I got out of it growing up. I learned a respect for others, a love of spiritual things and a sense of right and wrong (not that I'm always spot on with that one). You could argue that my parents had something to do with teaching me these things, and they did, but for me church reinforced them. That's not to say as I grew up I didn't see the negatives. Guilt, sexuality as sin, women as second class and last but not least (in any way shape or form) the hypocrisy of that particular institution. I just couldn't swallow it. So for the past several years I've really been "church-less". Not non-spiritual, but feeling like I was a spiritual person without a home base. I love nature and being in nature and even see "God" everywhere in nature, but  never really felt like that was the answer for me.

So here I am, 40, with two children and the one thing I can say that I am actively regretting is not offering my children the same experience. That's not to say that I am going to shove anything down their throats and "make" them believe one thing or another, but I want to give them the experience of religion and in time let them make their own decisions about how they feel about God and want to experience him/her.

Today I felt it. Today I went to a church of a friend of mine who is a minister. She is Methodist and belongs to a modest, but tight, congregation just a few minutes from our house. The hubby, myself and the kids went to a service this morning and I have to say, I enjoyed it. This service could NOT have been more un-Catholic. There was a full on band, tons of singing, no pews, snacks(!) and a wonderful focus on children actively learning lessons in the Bible (and not simply being lectured to for an hour). About 15 minutes in to the service, the children are taken from the main service and brought to the children's room (much like a pre-school room). Where they do a craft and talk about a certain lesson from the Bible. Today they made a burning bush from crepe paper. Super cool. They like it too! No whining or refusing to go back. At the main service there was more singing and a sermon from the main pastor. I actually teared up a couple times during the service because I felt it. Hurray! That hasn't happened in such a long time. Being used to such a static church environment I think it will take a bit of time for me to feel totally at ease, but I like what I felt today.

Unfortunately the hubby is not quite convinced. I can't blame him and I would never try and force him to believe or participate in something that he doesn't feel, but I think he is supportive of my goals for the kids and I understand his need for caution when it comes to religion. For now, I am thankful for the positive experience and hope it's a step toward something good.