Focusing on me

Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the fact that I'm getting some bites on the job front, maybe it's because neither of my kids have been hospitalized in the past month or maybe I'm just settling in...but I'm feeling better. I am just now realizing the damage the past year and a half has done. It has been an extremely difficult time which has included a cancer diagnosis and surgery for my mother-in-law, the birth of my second child, the death of my mother, the resulting train wreck that has been my father, a move to a new state and a string of illness unprecedented in our household. It's just been non-stop and I've been comfort-food eating my way through every step. Not good. Especially for someone who tends to keep the pounds on once they settle in. Over the past month or two, as I emerge from what only can be described as depression, I realize that I need to cut myself some slack...emotionally and physically. What I also realize is that I can't continue to neglect my well being. That's a tough thing to do when you feel like shit all the time, but I'm ready. It's time to start focusing on a healthier all around me. So, one thing I'm doing is running the 5K Race for the Cure in May in memory of my Mom and Grandma (who both battled breast cancer...yes, that genetic lottery definitely freaks me out). I figure what a better way to honor their memory than by doing something good for ME, their daughter and grand-daughter! I know my mom is looking down as I write this and smiling. She's where I learned to give so much to the people I love, but she is also where I learned that you have to be good to yourself too. I'm starting to realize, as life spreads me thinner and thinner, that the later is just as important. It feels fantastic to give more to myself...more breaks, more time alone, more time with my children, more time to health. More time nourishing me.