As a second child myself, I've decided to start documenting the ways in which I see my own numero dos get the short end of the stick. It's not at all intentional and now I'm starting to understand that it's just inevitable. Second kids get many, many benefits that first children don't (ex: attention from a loving older sib, great hand me downs...though this will soon turn in to a negative...and mellower parents) but they also kind of get the shaft too. Here's how it's playing out for IA (as compared to WA at her age).
Sleep: yeah, sleep. Or maybe I should say lack of it. IA is our on-the-go kid. She conforms to WA's schedule and is on the move most weekends. Naps are often in the car and sometimes she gets a special wake up call, in the form of her brother busting through the door.
Books: This is the one I feel worst about. WA is such a lover of books and I think it comes, in part, from his lifelong immersion. IA gets none of that. I'm lucky if I can sneak in a book or two on the weekend and POSSIBLY once or twice before school during the week. I hate this about our schedules. I'm hoping that as she gets a bit older and her bedtime gets a bit later, that books will incorporate themselves in to the routine on a regular basis.
Playing: Not only is quite playtime with IA a rarity, but when she does play it's often at the side of her 3 year old brother. This co-ed play includes toy stealing, full body tackles and rambunctious tomfoolery. I hope she's learning something somewhere in all of that!
T.V.: WA didn't watch television until he was 18 mos old. We made a conscious effort to make this so, figuring that play time (and books, see above) were the better way to go. Poor IA gets exposed on a regular basis. Not that we plop her in front of the T.V. on purpose, but we often find it necessary to have both kids in the same place at the same time. She gets distracted by it when WA is watching his shows (Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies and Word World being two of his current favorites. Peep and the Big Wide World being his all time favorite). And since we often need them in the same place at the same time, IA has a relationship with television that WA never had. I guess one positive thing is that she loves to dance when my husband has on Palladium (a channel that plays all these great live rock concerts). Apparently today she was busting a move to a DMB show. That's my girl!
Here's my theory...this second child syndrome weighs on me much more than it does her...at least for now. So I'm gonna keep trying my best and hope she doesn't hate me in 15 years:).
2 comments:
I could have written this post! I try to remind myself that AK gets lots of love and attention from LP so perhaps that makes up for some of my lack of focus? Instead of just having two people to play with (mommy and daddy) AK and IA have THREE people. And I know that WA loves him some IA, so I am betting he plays a pretty big part in her little world.
It helps that my parents remind me that I was a second child and I turned out okay (or at least they have convinced themselves of that).
Somehow you managed to survive being my younger sister ;-)
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